When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
Ron Swanson
Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye.
There's only one thing I hate more than lying... skimmed milk... which is water that's lying about being milk.
Only women shave below the neck.
I got my first job when I was nine at the steel mill. Within two weeks I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.
Dogs under 50 lbs are cats & cats are pointless.
I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks, everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.
Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.
There's been a mistake. You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats.
Fish meat is practically a vegetable.
You had me at meat tornado
